A Lovely Wedding–and My Part In It

Image by Kristian Mann from Pixabay

I haven’t been writing much on this blog lately (as you well know if you’re a subscriber), but I am working away on m cookbook, my compendium of party food, tentatively titled Feeding the Masses without Losing Your Mind.  I had said that the last thing the world needs is another cookbook, but I’d already written quite a bit of material for it. So I’m putting it together, editing and testing the recipes, and saying more than you could possibly imagine on various food-related topics, such as proper muffin mixing technique and how to make many mini tarts.

Saturday I got to put some of my ideas into practice as I was asked to do the food for a outdoor wedding. My dear friend Nancy’s second-oldest daughter got married in their back yard, a necessity for this era of social distancing, and you just would not believe all the work they did making their already-lovely back yard into a veritable fairyland. Strings of lights! Acres of organza/netting/tulle, much of it wrapped around said lights! Flowers! Refreshment tents! So great.

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A Family Get-Together

book cover for Alexander and the Wonderful, Marvelous, Excellent, Terrific Ninety Days

Alexander and the Wonderful, Marvelous, Excellent, Terrific Ninety Days: An Almost Completely Honest Account of What Happened in Our Family When Our Youngest Son, His Wife, Their Baby, Their Toddler, and Their Five-Year-Old Came to Live with Us for Three Months by Judith Viorst, originally published by the Free Press, 2007, now available in a number of formats through Amazon and at the library. (The above is an Amazon affiliate link.)

To be honest, I haven’t been doing a lot of book reading these days. It seems as if every waking moment that I’m not spending on anything else I’m devouring articles about the election. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t still love books and have ones that I recommend, and I can’t believe that I’ve never posted about this one. I bought it in hardback when it first came out and vividly remember reading it aloud in the car to my husband and son. The title is a takeoff of Viorst’s earlier children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Very Bad Day. Same guy, but now he’s married with three children, needing a place to stay while his family’s house is being remodeled. So his parents invite the tribe to stay with them rather than renting a place. It turns out to be quite an adventure.

I love books that have a strong authorial voice, and especially those that echo my own personality. Oh my! Do I ever relate to Judith, whether she’s slipping an article underneath her son’s bedroom door about the dangers of too much bike riding, or trying to nonchalantly remind him about the instability of the big oak dresser upstairs, or restraining herself from shrieking about chocolate coming anywhere near her beloved velvet furniture. (I’m that way about my beloved dining room table and anything that could possibly scratch it.) She’s very self-aware, though, as I hope I am. Here’s a representative passage:

It’s inevitable, I suppose, that living, as Milton and I are now living, in close quarters with our resident grown-up children, there are bound to be opportunities–lots of opportunities–for intergenerational irritations. Some of them, however, some of us parents might be able to avoid by repeating the following mantra twice a day:

Don’t judge, advise, or criticize.
Respect their boundaries and choices.
Accept who they are.

Well, sometimes we need to repeat it ten times a day. And then we must try to abide by what we say. I’m doing my best.That doesn’t mean that I always succeed in keeping my mouth shut when I should keep my mouth shut. But I don’t understand those parents who won’t even try.

For me, the greatest delight of this book is that it reminds me of my own wonderful family, both immediate and extended, and how much I enjoy spending time with them. The long trips taken with my in-laws. The family reunions at the beach. The Thanksgivings and Christmases. This afternoon we’re heading over to said in-laws for dinner, so I’m trying to get this post done and my newsletter out before we leave. We haven’t had our usual Sunday-afternoon lunch for a couple of weeks, so it’ll be nice to see them.

Great takeaway: “And then we must try to abide by what we say.” A great reminder to me, as a champion maker of resolutions that I don’t keep,

Eventually the 90 days end and everyone goes back home. It’ been a great time, and now it’s over. One more quotation, only one, I promise: “I am full of smiles and tears at the same time, full of the difficult knowledge that I can’t, as the poet once put it, ‘cage the minute within its nets of gold.'”

Well, you need to read the whole thing.  Only 113 pages of big type, and every one of them full of wisdom. Well, well worth the time.

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Lessons from the World’s Ugliest Muffins.

muffin with sunken topPretty bad, huh? I’ve posted about these muffins before and have used my new recipe card app to write out what I did the time before this. They came out pretty well in that version but still didn’t have the rise I wanted, so I tried yet another combination of leavening with the awful result you see here. They tasted fine, but boy! People had to be pretty hardy to risk eating one. I made four dozen of these things for the Easter breakfast at our church Sunday and only brought home about a dozen, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Still and all, though!

 

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I Made It Through the Picnic!

Elegant patio table and chairs, set for a picnicNot a huge event.  I wasn’t putting on a wedding, or a political convention.  History was not going to be changed in any way if we ran out of food.  (It might have been if someone had gotten sick from the food, but that didn’t happen.)  We probably ended up with around 100 people, and while the last 10 or so people didn’t get any salad everyone got a burrito.  And there was plenty of dessert.  All in all a very successful evening.  People lingered and lingered, always a sign of a good party.

Here are some thoughts as I look back:

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Are Celebrations Biblical?

Stained glass window portraying JesusLast of three posts on the role of celebrations in our lives.  I mentioned earlier, and perhaps many reading this post already know, that Jesus’ first recorded miracle occurs at a wedding celebration:  “On the third day there was a wedding at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples” (John 2:1-2 ESV).  So, just to point out the obvious, Jesus and the disciples aren’t hermits; they aren’t cut off from society.  They’re invited to this occasion.  Jesus doesn’t rebuke anyone for spending all that money on a feast.  He contributes to it, and in a high-quality way; the governor of the feast says, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now” (v. 10).  I mentioned in this previous post that my favorite part of the story is the idea that although the guests at the feast have no idea where this good wine came from,  “the servants who had drawn the water knew.”  If you’re quietly at work behind the scenes, making sure that everything gets done and goes smoothly, you can get a blessing that isn’t available to the oblivious partygoers.  (So I made sure that the image to go with this post included one of those servants.)

The Bible as a whole seems to be very pro-celebration and pro-hospitality.  There’s the great story in the book of Genesis that has three angels coming to visit Abraham to tell him that he and Sarah are going to have a son, but Abraham doesn’t necessarily know who they are.  The text is a little unclear on that point.

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The Economy of Celebrations

Table set with silver, crystal goblets, and linenSo, here’s the second of three posts this week on why people need celebrations and how to get the most out of them.  I’m writing this as I sit at our dining room table with some of my favorite in-laws, my brother- and sister-in-law and my father- and mother-in-law.  (We are eating a late lunch to feed the poor starving visitors who weren’t fed on the plane.  Be sure to read the hospitality blog tomorrow to get the recipe for the wonderful chicken salad I fed them.)  The siblings-in-law just got into town from Seattle for a wonderful eight days which will include some special get-togethers including Christmas dinner, a big birthday dinner for Carol (since her birthday is Dec. 30th), and a pizza party for Monday Night Football.  Is all this really necessary?  There’s expense and effort involved.  Why bother?

As I said Monday, celebrations can have legitimate purposes: building memories and relationships.  Making the occasion special can help cement its importance.  It seems a bit sad not to mark a wedding, for instance, with some sort of party afterwards.  It’s when the purpose of the celebration veers into the desire to impress, to do what’s always done, to fulfill

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Why Do People Need Celebrations?

party with decorative livesI guess you could call me a kind of volunteer unofficial events planner.  (I wonder when the term “events planner” entered the world’s vocabulary.)  I wrote a previous post over on the hospitality blog about the upcoming holiday events I’m in charge of; those are all over now, but–magically!–new ones have appeared on the horizon:  special family meals while my sister- and brother-in-law are here, including said s-i-l’s birthday party.  So I’ll have plenty to write about over there.  But the thought occurs to me sometimes that maybe all this effort is unnecessary.  I told Jim once, back when we lived in D.C. and

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